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Sunday, March 6th, 2005
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9:44 pm
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| Saturday, April 24th, 2004
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1:51 pm
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Nick:
at your earliest convenience, I would like to speak with you.
gratzi.
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(comment on this)
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| Saturday, July 5th, 2003
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5:29 am - CHANTELLE!!!!
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I am standing on guard for thee RIGHT NOW.
current mood:  drunk
current music: Barenaked Ladies - The Humour of the Situation
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, June 9th, 2003
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1:10 am
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Heart Joe McCarthy says:
your paper looks like the ones I do
I Heart Joe McCarthy says:
except small font
I Heart Joe McCarthy says:
and better words
I Heart Joe McCarthy says:
and more indepth
Brian says:
heh. when I get tired, I use bigger words.
I Heart Joe McCarthy says:
In fact, it's *nothing* like mine
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, May 19th, 2003
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1:35 am
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she says she sees things, things that I wasn't aware were perceptible, and I find myself buying into the myth that there are people who, whether you like it or not or whather you want it or not, know you better than you'd prefer, maybe even better than you know yourself.
and you find yourself acquiescing for now, willing to play along for the time being, in hopes of learning new information that will cause you to doubt the original analysis, something to cling onto so you can maintain the facade of control.
and this happens repeatedly, and you are what you repeatedly do, and perception is reality, and while reality screams out the impossible, it happens anyway, until you become a parody of a game where the outcome is already determined, and the only matter to be resolved is how to get there.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 14th, 2003
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8:18 pm - chantelle:
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| Friday, April 25th, 2003
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12:36 am
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so, I think I've managed to piss off quite a few people lately, including maybe some of you.
how so? being my charming, idiotic, clueless self.
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, April 23rd, 2003
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3:26 am
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| Monday, April 21st, 2003
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1:52 am
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I thought I had something to say, but apparently I don't.
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 20th, 2003
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2:03 am - so last night...
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I got fairly drunXXored and on my other journal said something nice about all the people I list as friends.
now keep in mind, most of them I have known for 5+ years, but SOME PEOPLE (er, person) got a bit miffed (or faked being miffed) that I didn't include them.
so, um, I'll try to do the same now, on this one.
but, recognize, though, that it will be forced, as I do things on whims, and most of my enjoyment of life comes from the moment, and I believe moments cannot be re-lived, and the best you can hope is to create new moments.
and then again, there aren't many people listed as friends on here as I have on the other one.
so, here's a crack at it.
chantellecam: every now and then, I remember I had MEAT delivered to your house. that fact gives me great amusement. you are a dear friend, and you have said some incredibly nice and sweet and supportive things in the past that I still think about and it helps me, even though it ruins your bad-ass image if I out you as a nice, caring person. suck it up :D
daedrius: um, you're a friend of chantelle's and you are pretty funny. Angel of Ina cracks me up. I dunno you that well tho.
easterkat: If there exists a female version of me, you'd be it, and the more I come to love myself, the more I care about you. my friendship with you is indeed priceless.
kingnick: You're a good one, although a bit misguided sometimes :D (freak. fox news rots your brain) Sometimes I think I should provide you guidance, but in the end, it'll be best for you to slug your way through life and figure it out on your own. You're too damned smart for your own good, but again, that will make things easier in the long run.
lu_cashmere: I think you dropped off the face of the earth. So, moving on..
oliveoyl: you are incredibly wise, funny, and caring. I wish more people were like you, but then again, if they were, you would not be nearly as special as you are. and I don't mean special in the "lick the windshield of the short bus" special.
robnoxious: you funny, funny, bastard. Franken-Jamie still cracks me up to this day, and if I had half of your wit, I just might make something of a radio career.
yancey22: Who else could I profess my man-crush on Tubby Smith to? You're always supportive, and you care too much sometimes. It's not bad, but sometimes I wonder how someone can be so damn nice all the time. I do appreciate you more than I let on. Wisdom is always welcome.
zlot: liek, u r SO rad!
ok, happy now?
current mood:  awake
current music: Blink 182 - Man Overboard
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 17th, 2003
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4:00 pm - :o
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I got a haircut today. I'm pretty happy about that.
and that astrology thing that Jen posted..
Brian is an unsung hero, an undiscovered genius...and an unknown quantity. It is because Brian is such an unknown quantity that his heroism goes unsung and his genius undiscovered. Some people will blow their own trumpets from the highest hill even when those trumpets are battered and badly out of tune. Brian is rather the opposite. No matter how bright the light inside him shines, he will always find a bushel big enough to hide it under. Brian wants to be thought of as stable, steady and solid. He tries his best to do what the world expects of him, he wants to be a trooper - a loyal, reliable, down-to-earth kind of character. In the attempt to give this impression Brian strives to be modest, restrained and realistic. He almost succeeds. Through diligent effort Brian manages to persuade himself and the rest of the watching world that he is a known quantity. At best he will allow himself to be known for his talent in one particular area or for his courage with regard to one particular topic. The trouble is Brian is a Capricorn and Capricorns, despite all that some astrologers say, are always unknown quantities.
Deep down inside Brian yearns to be wild and crazy, footloose and fancy-free. He wants to break the rules, question convention and court controversy. Only one thing stops him - a little voice in the back of his head that says "Excuse me, who do you think you are? That's not the kind of activity that Brian can get away with." If you want to be a true friend to Brian, you must encourage him to ignore that voice. He will love you for it and he won't need much encouraging. Brian was born to be brilliant. He was destined to be daring. One
day he will realise this and then...the world had better look out.
I'm not sure how well that fits me. I cannot decide if I like this, or if I am bothered that "the world had better look out" for 1 out of 12 people.
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(comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 15th, 2003
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11:30 am
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and then I got to the gate
pulled a list that I'd been calling fate
I'm sorry friend you cant come in
you gotta a list here that doesn't end
you're mad cause I smoke dope
you teaching any classes in how to cope?
I'll find a place to rest my head
I rather be alone now that I'm dead
like christian hossoi way back in '87
we'll be busting christ air's until we get to heaven
think I really care that I miss biology
got my education in stale fishology
with all your rules you got to chill
I'm gonna twist out like Mike McGill
I'm gonna twist out cause I got the skillz
I'm gonna twist out cause I got the skillz..got the skillz got the skillz
heaven is a halfpipe..
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(comment on this)
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| Thursday, April 10th, 2003
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1:43 am
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In other news, I neglected to mention that I officially changed majors this week. That made me feel good.
Other feelings/thoughts continue. No change, unfortunately. and I am quite enamored with the Johnny Cash icon, even though it is a bit small.
perhaps you should squint.
current mood:  apathetic
current music: Dusty Springfield - Son of a Preacher Man
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, April 6th, 2003
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1:52 am
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Last night, a friend of mine was stopped by the police, charged with a DWI and then resisting arrest. He tore up his cell, his clothes, himself, looking for some way to make a rope or something, and they took his clothes and everything away, leaving him with flip-flops and sandals. He is covered in bruises he gave himself.
I don't know how to help him.
current mood: numb
current music: Sister 7 - Know What You Mean
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, April 4th, 2003
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2:31 am
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So, as usual I don't have anything to say.
I did watch "High Fidelity" again tonight.
I might just let this journal wither and die, that is, if it was really alive. I should use it for more than just relaying what song I happened to be listening to at this moment.
Maybe there's just too much on my mind to filter anything out. I've tended to be pretty much an "all or nothing" sort of person anyway.
So, in this case, you get nothing.
current music: Soul Asylum - Just Like Anyone
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, March 28th, 2003
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12:47 am
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I think the euphoria from my promotion is already gone. Funny thing, euphoria...once it's gone you feel lower than you were...I'm feeling a lot of things right now, none of them good.
current mood:  depressed
current music: Social D - I Was Wrong
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(comment on this)
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| Wednesday, March 26th, 2003
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11:27 pm - Dear Chantelle
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| Tuesday, March 25th, 2003
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1:14 pm - my own version of 24
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March 24
1:17 pm - inquiry (voice mail)
1:23 pm - another inquiry (voice mail)
3:20 pm - call back and get elaboration on inquiry which evolves into an offer
3:45 pm - get on AIM and talk to someone who knows the business, get another side of options
4:00 pm - call former boss, agree to call later in the day.
contemplation
5:45 pm - call from someone who received same offer..agree to meet at local pub to compare notes
6:24 pm - call back inquiror again and get more information...on whose authority is the offer being made? who approved?
6:45 pm - meet co-offered person. compared notes. debated merits
8:15 pm - meet different friend and talk labor law
9:00 pm - talk to former boss again. gives new ideas/options
more contemplation, not much sleep
March 25
7:30 am - wake up after fitful "rest" stay paralyzed in bed
8:45 am - get dressed. no shower/shave
9:00 am - board bus for campus, spend hour and a half not listening to a lecture about water...contemplating...thinking to reject offer.
11:25 am - back home, fix lunch. still contemplating
11:45 am - halfheartedly eat rice and fish, scrape most of lunch into trash, take trash out on the way to the parking lot to go speak to current boss.
12:00 pm - talk with current boss. boss drops a bombshell or two. says I should do what I need to do...no rash decisions. casually mentions he'll talk to his boss...who might react if told who made original offer. told him I'd think about everything, make a courtesy call to original offer and see what's available.
12:30 pm - talk to newest co-worker who I've known for 7 years (we worked together previously..) ...chit-chat, tell him the basics of what's going on
12:45 pm - current boss comes back, takes me back to the "office" (a soundproof studio), and gives a counter-offer...salary of X a month, voicetrack nights on current station and help out wherever needed, minimum 30 hours a week.
I accept on the spot. Will call original offer and decline without giving a reason.
1:17 pm - back home, getting ready for class.
current mood:  relieved
current music: "Evanescence".... I think's what it's called...
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(comment on this)
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| Monday, March 24th, 2003
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6:17 pm - bah.
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that is all.
current mood: paralyzed
current music: and confused
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(comment on this)
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| Sunday, March 23rd, 2003
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12:31 pm - dreams
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So, last night, my buddy Duane told me "I had a dream about you...you were president of the United States."
oh really?
"and I took a bullet for you."
care to explain?
"you were president, and I was in the secret service, and you were about to give some major press conference...and I had the suit, glasses, earpiece, all that secret service stuff, and I was to the right of you and the podium..I hear something in my earpiece and I looked to the left and somebody had just pulled a gun, and I jumped in front of you and BAM! took one right in the chest...I thought 'yeah, I did my job' .. and that's when I woke up"
heh. that's pretty neat.
current mood:  amused
current music: Deftones - Change
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(comment on this)
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thoughtful